“2017, thank you for the lessons. 2018, let’s do this!”
Happy New Year everyone!!
Like most people around this time of the year, I like to reflect back on my previous year, and start thinking about the next year ahead. And looking back on 2017 has made me feel so proud of all that I accomplished. I conquered a lot of goals I wanted to achieve; I strengthened my ankles enough to wear 3 inch heels again, I ran my best time ever in a 5 km run, I raised a ton of money for the GBS foundation, and I climbed a freaking mountain! I also got to take my babe to Vegas, I purchased the car that I have been saving up for for three years, and I was given an award from the GBS foundation recognizing me for my passion to give back to the GBS community. And then to top it all off, I got engaged!
In the first three quarters of the year, I was killing it in the gym, macro counting, and in the best shape of my life. But in October my progress came to a screeching halt with my neurologically induced crash (my new favorite term to describe a severe flare up of residuals). While I was still going to the gym, I slowed it down a lot – I cut back drastically on cardio, I stopped pushing myself, and, I stopped tracking my food (or caring what I’ve been eating, to be honest.) My focus the past few months really has been taking it easy, and allowing myself to take a break.
I’ve been getting biweekly b12 injections from my doctor for the past month now – any time I have tried to go longer without one, the intense fatigue, nerve pain and brain fog issues have returned. I haven’t dealt with these things to this extent since my recovery from GBS 6 years ago, which makes me believe that as I get older, my residuals will probably worsen unfortunately. Given the severity of my crash back in October, I am now waiting to be referred to a neurologist that specialises in GBS, to fully understand and document what happens to us survivors, even this many years later. One thing that I am grateful for is that the B12 injections do make such a huge difference for me, and within 48 hours of getting a shot, I feel like a whole new person again.
I’ve really been working on de-stressing my life and finding ways to take responsibilities off my plate, as working full time, being a parent, AND dealing with a flare up can be extremely overwhelming. Luckily I am so fortunate to have such an incredible fiancé (I’m enjoying calling him that now!!), who not only encourages me to rest as often as I can, but thrives on taking care of me when I’m not feeling my best. However, as he is as crazy busy as I am, online grocery shopping has become my newest obsession. It’s not about being lazy, its about using my time wisely. 2017 certainly taught me about knowing my limits, and to take break, before I break. I’ve learned that sometimes its perfectly ok, to relax, rest and do nothing. Sometimes, its perfectly ok to order your groceries online so you don’t have to leave your house!
Another huge thing I’ve found that really helps me on my bad days, is focusing on getting 3 personal tasks that day. No matter how small they are, if its just having a shower, or making a phone call, or playing a board game with my daughter, I feel accomplished knowing that I got these tasks done, especially when I’m not able to do all that much.
And the most important thing I am working on lately is GRATITUDE. Remembering that no matter what is going on in our lives, there are ALWAYS things to be grateful for. Remembering that no matter how bad of a day, month, or year you’ve had, there are always amazing times to be found.
I am so looking forward to 2018. I am looking forward to slowly pushing myself in the gym again, regaining my strength, getting back into healthier eating and enjoying life with my family. 2017 was a great year, but I am looking forward to putting it behind me and starting fresh for 2018!